Le Blaugue

Ces citations, tirées de la pagesDiscordian Quotes, sont en fait tirées des longues discussions sur alt.discordia, le ng dédié à la religion Discordienne. Pour faire court mais bref, cette religion est basée sur le chaos, elle a été inventée à la fin des années 50. Nul ne sait si c’est un canular basé sur une religion ou une religion basée sur un canular, mais au fil des années c’est devenu un petit phénomène culturel underground. On voit dans cette philosophie des rejetons du surréalisme, du zen, des sciences dures et molles et beaucoup de références culturelles.

Ci joint donc, des mots sages, des choses à retenir et des lyrics des Pink Floyd.

• Give a monkey a brain and he’ll swear he’s the center of the universe.
• Atheists are people who have no invisible means of support
• Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.
• Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together.
• It’s not that life is too short, it’s that death is too long.
• Evolution doesn’t take prisoners.
• The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and three hundred sixty-two admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t mean that God doesn’t love heterosexuals. It’s just that they need more supervision.
• When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my father did, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
• If infinite rednecks fired infinite shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, they’d eventually create all the great literary works of the world in braille.
• We are all Children of Cthulhu — especially the ones with lots of tentacles.
• Proletarian revolutions are notably ineffective when the ruling class is composed of gods.
• Never trust a cop with a rubber glove.
• I have nothing to declare, except my genius.
• Life is the stuff that happens to you while you’re making other plans.
• Time is a great teacher, but it kills all its pupils.
• The only real problem in life is what to do next.
• Think « HONK » if you’re a telepath!
• Horniness is a quintessential example of hope.
• The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist is afraid that it is.
• Okay, everybody in this room who’s telekinetic, raise my hand.
• There’s nothing wrong with you a shotgun blast to the face couldn’t fix.
• I never remember a face, but I always forget a name.
• Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum: I think I think, therefore I think I am.
• I intend to live forever or die trying.
• A good fight is like a stick of broccoli, but different.
• Surrealism aims at the total transformation of the mind and all that resembles it.
• Anything I do is purely coincidental.
• Power corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat.
• Heute die Welt, Morgens das Sonnensystem!
• My inner child can beat up your inner child.
• LSD melts in your mind, not in your hands.
• I wouldn’t recommend sex, drugs and insanity for everyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
• Sarcasm is a sign of genius.
• We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.
• A hundred thousand lemmings can’t be wrong.
• Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking.
• All in all it’s just another brick in the wall…
• Real punk rockers don’t smile.
• Do not merely believe in miracles, rely on them.
• I came, I saw, she conquered.
• The Eleventh Commandment: Thou shalt not get caught.
• I prefer to think of them as the Ten Suggestions.
• Don’t panic.
• Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out of it alive.
• Paranoia doesn’t mean the whole world really isn’t out to get you.
• I like winter. I like the cold. I like the sound of flowers dying.
• Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
• The important thing is not to stop questioning.
• Ignorance can be cured — but stupid is forever.
• Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
• Early to bed and early to rise makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes.
• Honi soit la vache qui rit.
• Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
• The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility.
• Darwin’s Law of Carcinogens: Cancer cures smoking.
• A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
• Mars needs women.
• There’s someone in my head, but it’s not me
• So… so you think you can tell… heaven from hell
• I don’t want anybody else; when I think about you I touch myself
• Don’t eat yellow snow.
• Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
• I’m looking for a cynical girl
• Drive carefully. 90% of the people in the world are caused by accidents.
• Virginity can be cured.
• If I was a woman I’d stay at home all day and play with my breasts.
• Smile, and the whole world thinks you’re laughing at them.

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